Writing and Reviews

I've been writing a fan made fiction for over a few months now and I'm pretty proud of my progress even if my literary talent isn't that fantastic. It's a fanfic about Kyouya Ootori and Haruhi Fujioka from the Ouran High School Host Club anime series. I really love this couple to bits because it's complicated and fun to write.

"And Then We Meet Again" is my first multi-chapter fanfic. To tell the truth I had attempted to create multi-chapter fanfics before but failed because of my fear of being 'not good enough'. Well I kicked my fears and reasons to the curb and plowed on forward to write my story. I feel great that a lot of people appreciated my story. It already has 80 reviews for only 8 chapters, which is a feat in itself since this is the first time I had a fanfic with that much reviews.

Although getting reviews can also become a crutch. I've realized that I've been checking and re-checking my e-mail just to find out if I have a new review. I really need to remind myself that I am writing not just for reviews but also for myself. I have made a vow to finish this fanfic no matter how long it may take. I've got a lot of ideas still brewing in my mind. It's probably going to take 20+ chapters before this one is finished. All the cards aren't laid out yet but I'm doing my best.

I realized the best way to write is to write a little each day and to edit, edit and edit more. My fear of writing stemmed from the fact that I couldn't produce perfect literature. I don't know why but I have this innate fear of mistakes. But then I found the beauty of editing. It feels so good to edit and re-structure sentences or paragraphs.

I have also reminded myself time and time again not to compare my fanfic to others. The truth in life is that there will always be someone better than you and someone whom you are better than. So I try to stop myself from reading other KyoHaru fanfics and just focus on my own fic. I do read fics from other anime series to get some ideas. Like Dragonball Z (my hidden guilty pleasure, Phoenix Wright (Oh god I love NaruMitsu and KlEma A LOT), Final Fantasy VII (Vincent x Tifa because they are sooo right for each other) and even the occasional Harry Potter fic.

Anyway, I am quite in a stump as to how to start Chapter 9. I wanted it to be better than Chapter 8, although I was quite surprised that people loved Chapter 8 as it is. Anyway, I want to challenge myself and do better in the next chapter. I know I can do it! I can do it! I'll push myself until I'll be able to create a really nice chapter 9.
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I want to draw again but the same old fears crop up. I want to challenge myself though. I know that I wouldn't be able to stay like this forever. I need to face my fears head on just like I did with writing. Maybe I should do it one step at a time.