Saying Yes to Life

There are times when I feel that I am just a sailor in the middle of the ocean with no way to steer my boat. That's what I've always felt my life has been these past few years. I had no idea what I wanted in life. I often tell myself that I don't know what to do but I guess that's the part where I should change. I should change my thinking, my attitude towards life.

A few minutes ago the movie Yes Man was played on HBO. After I watched the movie I realized that most of the time whenever an opportunity comes my way I say "no". Thus the feeling that I haven't done much in my life comes in play. I had said no to a lot of opportunities. Most of the time its because I felt that I didn't have the capacity to do what should be done. I've stopped drawing because I thought I wasn't good enough. I've stopped playing the piano because I felt I wasn't good enough. I stopped doing some thing because I thought it didn't matter anymore. There even came a point in my life that I thought it doesn't matter if I do something because in the end everything fades and changes anyway.

Because of this kind of thinking I've missed out a lot in my life. I am afraid, oh so afraid, that sometimes this fear literally freezes me.

But I can't be afraid all my life. There will come a time when I need to say "yes" to life. There will come a time when I need to face my fears. Where I need to tackle it and push it to the ground. Where I need to gather my courage. And I think that doing this will allow me to find happiness. It will allow me to feel happy about who I am and what I am.

So right now I will say "yes" to life. I am making a covenant with myself to say "yes" to opportunities. It will not be a walk in the park since I'm used to saying no and keeping myself in my comfort zone but I want to learn to live life to the fullest.